One of the hardest things about being a part of urban ministry is being a WIFE and MOM. ( wait, does that make sense?) Let me explain. For me, now I am only going to talk about me, not the million other women who are doing this.. For me, for one, I have such a huge heart for ministry!! Like, really it has been a prayer for years that I would be a missionary... ha! I laugh because, I remember before I got married, I was on my first summer project and Shane Claiborne came to speak and share with us about his new ministry in Philadelphia. I was like, YES, LORD!!! I WILL GO!!!"( in my all dramatic voice) I remember taking the ministry info and presenting it to one of staff guys and asking him to pray for me and seeking to to hear from him his wisdom on what I should do! LOL! I was determined to be a missionary!! LOL! I remember telling Kevin and he was like, Girl, please, you are not going to be a missionary, because we are getting married!" I was like huh?? Later I thought," Clearly, Lord you need to do something with him because he is trippin!"
Well, clearly, as you can see, who won that fight!
I wanted nothing more than to be with this man, I knew He would be a great husband, leader and friend to me. I really was excited about being His helper!! I still had this thing, this grip in my heart to do full time missions. Not sure why, it just made sense that as a christian you would devote all of your life to serving the LORD.( as if other believers not on staff somewhere were not doing that) I know I had a lot of maturing to do.. I had to grow to understand that we are all missionaries no matter where we live, at the time the LORD wanted me to understand that my FIRST ministry, and priority might I add, was to my husband. That was hard but I got it! Then we had kaiya!! If you want to know the story behind our struggle with infertility read that here.
But, kevin did not know at the time I was pleading and begging the LORD to call us into full time missions. ( heheh, Got cha brother!!) Anyway, I spent maybe the first couple of years trying to convince him we should go on staff with the college ministry we met through. He would laugh it off at times, but then it begin to not be funny, it was starting to bother HIm, and so I had to let go. I never wanted him to feel like he wasn't doing what God wanted him to do at the time in our lives. As a helper I am called to follow him, not him follow me. ( Genesis 2,3 1 Corinthians 11:3;7-12) I got it now.
All that to say, kevin use to say there were three things that he would NEVER do, that was, 1. Raise Support. 2. Go on staff with a Ministry. 3. Move to the Westside of Montgomery.
Wellll, I'll be slithering snakes...he has done all three of the above and look were we are now!! ( got cha again brother!! This prayer thing really works! LOL)
Ok, foreal, I am at awe at how the LORD has given us both the desires of our hearts and has brought our family to west Montgomery for such a time as this. My struggle at times is not wanting my child or my husband to feel they are not a priority for me. It so easy for me because of my personality, and heart to invest more time in these girls or kids in my neighborhood then my own family. I am thankful because I have a husband who will check me at any given moment if that happens. I am saying all that to say, PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS.
I want to love on my neighbors by showing them the ORDER in which GOD has established and set up the home. Hospitality must FIRST and FOREMOST begin in your OWN house, with your husband, and your children. Kevin, I tell you, the LORD has given me a serious man! I love him to death. He is always encouraging me to do what the LORD wants me to do...But do it in the order and way that GOD ordains for those things to be done! I love my family, I would not want to bring shame to the gospel by not placing them first! (Titus 2) A TRUE WOMAN takes care of and looks over the affairs of her home diligently.
Its hard, that constant tug between living here and keeping your families together. Please pray for 'hood wives and husbands' everywhere!!!