I didn't care. As a woman, you know that's huge not to care. We don't play about our homes. Ha!
I sat at home today wondering what was different now. You see, now I care. Every ounce of living in an unfinshed home bothers me. Why didn't I care back then?! What was the perspective I held to that made things so different? Whatever it is.. I needed it back!!
After a very emotional morning, I ran to the feet of Jesus and begin to be reminded of the lesson that stood right before me of my broken "house."
As we all know, the brokenness of the inner city is a perfect reminder of the world we live in. Sin has left us in a jacked up position. We can't help but see this everywhere in the inner city. In addition, we can also see it clearly in our own bodies.
My "house", you see, is a picture of the very body I live in on a daily basis. I'm broken, in need of much restoration just like my community. Every day I look around my unfinished home , I'm reminded of my need for Jesus, my community need of Jesus and right now I'm being reminded of His promise that things won't stay this way in my body or in my community.
So, in the beginning, it wasn't as hard moving into a home that wasn't restored fully. The struggle became real as I had to live in the home DURING the restoration process. There are days I just want to quit, or pretend its not even a big deal, or even allow my mind to wonder off and daydream about what it would be like to live in a "home" where restoration wasn't a need. It's called escape people, and sometimes I could be good at it. Sanctification is a beast!
I stopped living with Hope and a heart focused on the promises of God. I've gotten comfortable and tired here. As I heard one pastor say, "God cares, and He calls you to care. He is not satisfied with the state of this "house" and He calls us to share in His Holy dissatisfaction. He wants us, everyday that we live to embrace the gospel promise of a world made new. There is Hope for new beginnings and fresh starts"
I must not let my own brokenness or the brokenness of my hood paralyze me with discouragement. I gotta stay focused!! I must be aware of the brokeness and learn how to think wisely, live productively, wait patiently on The Lord and learn how to be an agent of restoration.
I'm slowly again learning how to be thankful for this old broken" house". Pray with me and for me.
(Pastor quoted: Paul David Tripp)