God, my shepherd! I don’t need a thing. You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from. True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction.-Psalm 23:1-3 (Mesaage)
I'm not a huge fan of The Message bible and this may be the ONLY blog post you may find me quoting from out of it. Ha!
The verse above is exactly how I would describe this time during our sabbatical. I love the latter, "you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction". Yes!!!
For the past 2-3 years, I've almost felt as if I couldn't breath. Lack of intimacy with The Lord, homeschooling woe's, marriage difficulty, broken friendships, urban youth frustrations, all of these and so much more had me in a place of grasping and searching for some form of direction.
The truth is, I'm sinful. Yes, yes I am. (Don't be shocked- I kid!) Through all these dark valleys, God has for sure taught me more about the idols I worship and shown me my own brokenness and need of Him. It's true and a given fact that our circumstances simply reveal what's in our heart. (Sorry to all those who want to play the victim; not going to work)
This time away has been refreshing thus far. My family desperately needed this time to reconnect with each other and with Jesus. It's been good to "drop off the face of the earth" and sit deal with all that's in front of you with out "distractions".
Now, the true test is to be prepared and ready to operate amongst all the mess I'll be back in when March comes. To be honest, I'm ready and excited about the changes our family has made in order to go another 7 years in the hood. The fuel to this isn't something that's temporary,it's not even a feeling. (Which can come and go due to circumstances)
I'm filling my tank up on the HOPE and stability that's found in simply abiding in Jesus. The ROCK who's the same yesterday, today and forevermore. This incredible, amazing Father that secures my salvation, that gives me identity, dignity, and fulfillment. The best thing about this is, I'm not going in as a one woman army, I have the most amazing leader/husband a girl could have. My husband is truly da bomb and the best ministry partner there is. My prayer is to not return fearful of the future, or with lingering feelings of defeat; but that I would remember the promises outlined for me in Gods Holy word.
I absolutely love the promise given in the end of Psalm 23...
Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life. I’m back home in the house of God for the rest of my life.
-Psalm 23:6 (Mesaage)
Yes, I'm breathing again. :)